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"In a mad world, only the mad are sane," Akira Kurosawa. This quote has made me think so much about the nature of our existence, both individual and collective, and about our perception of reality. Reading it over and over I found that I had truly been enthralled by this statement by a foreign director I have never heard of of his own accord. This quote is the only thing I know the man did, and to me, it was enough.



Reading it over and over, I found that the message seemed to expand with each glance. By being crazy, I am sane. By being crazy, I can find those who are also crazy and be sane with them. By being crazy, I am well adjusted to the world in which I live. By being crazy, I am enlightened. By being crazy I see the world as it is. By being crazy, I will not believe the lies that the world tells me. By being crazy, I will never be able to ignore the evils of the world.


If ignorance is bliss, I am in trouble.





I sat quietly on the bench reading a book, every few moments, glancing up to see the lemmings on their way to classes. Almost always in groups, they had no idea what happened, always so absorbed in their pointless little conversations, but then again, who am I to talk? I am currently reading a series about dragon possession, The Tears of Artamon, it was thoroughly enjoyable, but seemed to be a creative mashup of other popular things from vikings to veil to vampires, with lots of dragons. I also have the music cranked so I cannot hear the idiots and their babbling. Am I as bad as them? Am I worse because I am doing the exact same thing alone?

Well, the answer to both is yes, I am currently involved with an addiction to fantasy books, every day finding a new hero, history, and love. You see, I have so little of a life, I can get through a full book almost every day. My biggest decisions had become whether to go to Barnes and Noble and read something there, to read the book I had gotten from the library, or to study.

WHat was the point of this, to work hard at school so you could work hard at a job until you could no longer work hard, and lie waiting to die, there had to be more, but who knows. I quite often wish that I could escape to a world where everything has meaning, or such a lack of it that it made no sense and you just don't care. Every once in a while I would look around for my own white rabbit, tornado, or glowing doorway. It would never be there, but what can a guy do but look?

that's what I had always thought at least, that you heard the call of the hero, and were whisked off for an adventure, and while there would be as much bad as good, at least it would be an adventure. What is the point of this world? Why am I here? Why are any of us here? Is there even a meaning of life?

Do you actually want an answer Vincent?

Oh great, I ask myself rhetorical questions, and get a response, this is interesting.

Commemeration Explanation Reparation and Dedication

First things first, you may be wondering why I wrote three "chapters" of my first story then stopped. well, I am embarassed by what I am about to say, I started writing having decided upon the world, and the characters, and the setting and history, you know, the part that is actually work. But I never took the time to look at what would happen, I started writing without any outline and I ended up in a situation where I had no idea why he wouldve summoned Mona. I will not be continuing that story, i am sorry for wasting your time.

Okay, so, now to the point of this story. It is actually something that came into my head after watching the Alice in Wonderland movies. As you may know, im a bit crazy myself, I wondered what it took to make yourself create a full fantasy world without drugs. THis will be the story of a teenager who is in the midst of figuring this out. I hope you will bear with me, and allow you to show you a bit of a new world.

This is commemerated to a few people, first of all, and this will seem strange. But I commemerate this to all the people that have made me hate life and the world so much that I wish I could escape. Second of all, and more importantly, this is dedicated to those few good people that have kept me from going over the edge of sad and lonely to clinically depressed.

I want to thank a few of you in particular(this is alphabetical so nobody gets their feelings hurt).First of all, I would like to thank Blue for giving me the idea to start writing, without her conversations deep into the night, probably too deep into the night, if not for her, I would never have done this. Next I would like to thank Joe who by starting his own blog, has made me want to give it another try. Next I would like to thank Kyle for teaching me a few years ago to stop caring about what people thought of me, and just do what I want to whethet it be singing and dancing in the halls or an angry rant every now and then. Next Monique, she has shown me recently that really there is a way for me to actually be happy, I just need to find it. She has done more for me in the last few months than the culmination of other friends in my life. And then there is Rick who has always shown me how to have fun with life, though only recently have I had even the slightest bit of luck figuring out what he has been telling me all along.

p.s. I promise I will spell and grammer check this one ; )